Saturday, April 19, 2014

My Inability to Choose... Or Should it be My Indecisiveness?

So. How to start. Once I post this, I can't take back what I've said. But I can, because it's the Internet. How to format the text, how to say what I want to say without rambling but still being eloquent in my 'language-speak'.

I want to write a book.

Jumping right in.

I've probably already said that.  But, in echoing myself, I want to write a book, and have that be a physical copy with binding and the lovely paper smell and for people to pick it up in bookstores in a YOLO moment, or maybe because they heard about it though a friend whose cousin read it.

But, I just can't.  I can, but there are things stopping me.
This isn't even what I wanted to talk about in this post.
But I'll tie it in.

I wrote the prologue on the topic I really, truly, am interested in. I have to go and look back at it.

So I just spend 10 minutes editing...

When I write something, for my own enjoyment, that is, I am never really satified with it.  When I look back, I find myself saying, "THIS IS TRULY AWFUL". So, in my efforts of writing and publishing a book, I go back and erase all I have done.  Now, those efforts are kind of halfhearted, for I do have a life... and school... mostly school... but I am stilly trying.

I want to accomplish so many things in my life.  Most of them irrational.

1. Write for a living (or at least be published)
2. Become a musician professionally (not practical at all)
3. Travel the world (not on either of the salaries listed above is THAT going to happen)
4. ???

I don't know. There's probably more.


I want to do so much, and yet I don't want to choose. Like, for example, college. A long way away for me, but I will have such a hard time choosing a college, then my major.  URG.  LIFE, IT MOVES TOO FAST.

Some brain candy for you all to digest and ponder upon.

Thanks for putting up with an impromptu post.